Mike Murray essay -- More Good than Bad

13 December 2007

More Good than Bad

--by Mike Murray

There is something undeniably wonderful about the Christmas season. It brings out the best in most of us. Whether we celebrate in ways religious or cultural (or both), we come closer in December to becoming the caring people we aspire to be than during any other month.

Jews, Muslims, Christians, Hindus, and Buddhists, atheists and agnostics – we all treat our fellow man a little better this time of year. We strive to be more tolerant, more understanding. We dig deeper in our efforts to be decent and kind.

I am fond of saying that one of my goals in life is to be “a little more good than bad.” It is my way of acknowledging my many shortcomings. I harbor no illusions when it comes to my faults. They are real and they are sometimes spectacular.

I am as dependent upon rationalizations as anyone else; I use them to navigate my way through each and every day. But when it comes to the matter of personal perfection, I make no attempt at self-delusion. It would be pointless. I look into my mirror each day; I know what I see. I don’t see an ogre. But neither do I see a saint.

I’m okay with that most of the time. I view good and evil as absolutes that occupy the end points of a very long continuum. A continuum that sees no one at either extreme. We are all of us, it seems to me, somewhere in between.

The best of us are nearer the “good” end point; the worst, the “bad.” But no human being is all good or all bad. Even the most evil among us might, for example, be compassionate at times; the kindest, nevertheless occasionally cruel. It’s a matter of degrees.

The people who deviate most starkly from the norms stick out like sore thumbs. There is no difficulty in discerning what position on the good/bad continuum the vile Adolph Hitler occupied. Neither is there any ambiguity about where the devoted Mother Teresa sat.

But while we need to consult the history books to learn about the worst among us (few of us will ever come face-to-face with a mass murderer), we can observe the best every day. They are all around.

Some struggle to provide for family members, to feed, clothe, and shelter them from harm. Others respond to the needs of neighbors and friends. Still others reach out to desperate strangers – human and animal – and go to heroic lengths in order to lessen suffering.

Those altruistic souls toil away in relative obscurity. It is not in their nature to grandstand, to seek recognition for their good works. They help because they must, because it’s the right thing to do. (For a prime example of one such person, conduct an Internet search of Deborah Parker of the Saint Francis Animal Sanctuary, in Vermillion, Ohio.)

Although they don’t draw attention to themselves for the purpose of self-congratulation, necessity does require them to alert us to the urgency of their causes. They can’t accomplish all that they need to alone. They require help. They daily engage both hands in charitable endeavors. All they ask of the rest of us is that we periodically free up one of our own to assist a little.

Yet even in their solicitations, they offer us something in return: opportunities for personal salvation. We are each of us improved – redeemed, even – when we extend a helping hand.

And at this special time of the year, a great many of us accept the invitation to “do well by doing good.” During each December, the milk of human kindness flows freely. Financial contributions to all manner of not-for-profit organizations increase. Tags on “giving trees” disappear into the hands of caring people, and reappear as beautifully wrapped gifts for those who otherwise would receive none.

Community hunger centers swell with both foodstuffs and volunteers. Good folks arrive to serve holiday meals to the less fortunate, and then return to their homes to break bread with relatives and friends.

Generous department stores do their part by assisting the impoverished. They provide gift cards to poor children whose families have no money for holiday gift-giving. But in one remarkable case, a store's benevolence was dwarfed by the thoughtfulness of a very special child.

Given the means by Wal-Mart to obtain presents for herself, ones that her parents could not afford to buy her, the young girl instead used her gift card to purchase treasures for family members. She beamed as she shopped. Rather than being excited about the rare chance to do something for herself, she was buoyed by the opportunity to do something for others.

Kids who are reared in families that exchange holiday gifts learn early on to be on their best behavior during the long run-up to Santa’s arrival. After all, lumps of coal make for wholly unsatisfying “presents.”

As children grow, however, they come to see that there is more joy in giving than in receiving. And that redemption is far more precious than any toy.

Perhaps owing to the hardships in her life, the girl in the Wal-Mart television spot learned those lessons early on. When she was presented with the opportunity to get something for herself, she instead opted to give something to others. She was wise (and compassionate) beyond her years.

No doubt about it, that sweet child was a whole lot “more good than bad.” My Christmas wish for 2007 is that we all become more like her – all year long.